This is Jack Burton in the 'Pork Chop Express' and I'm talking to whoever is listening out there.

What the hell?! ...Who the hell are you?

Shut up Mr Burton!

Is this gonna get ugly now?

So who are we picking up? A girl?

I'm still looking for the girl with green eyes.

Where is she from? Is she pretty?

When I have found her, I will marry her.

Well, why don't you go to China? Visit the motherland.

(inaudible angry Chinese)

Are you crazy? Is that the problem?

Indeed!

Why are you dressed like that?

There are many mysteries. Many unanswerable questions, even in a life as short as yours.

Can I ask you a serious question? How long have you been in America?

Now, this really pisses me off to no end.

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

You know what old Jack Burton always says at a time like this?

Call me Snake!!

It's all in the reflexes.